SEX (and the city)

SO, i had been waiting for this movie to shoot into theaters ever since my ex-roommate stuck a picture on her wall, mind you the only picture that ever graced that very bare and boring wall, You see because mine was all cluttered with pictures of JFK and random dinosaurs i colored in while drunk, my canadian flag, cutouts from magazines, my huge poster of john lennon, radiohead, and hers was just very BLEHHHHHH. anywho i had been waiting to see it, while in Michigan I pictured me and my best girlies from back home getting all dressed up heading to the theater at midnight on May 29th to revel in the amazingness that was expected with the release of this ridiculously hyped up movie. On may 30th around 7 pm I left the house with my mother to go see sex and the city. I thought why not reap the benefits lets go SHOPPING. i mean i am always up for shopping, new things to make me smile and forget about the fact that this summer of fun that i expected is turning out to be a summer of none (i just wanted it to rhyme), really a summer alone. without the people i regarded as my best friends, i mean people grow, right? change? i was on my own for a year, 800 miles away. ANYWAY, we get to atlantic station and after searching for a parking space for about 15 minutes we get in line, and find out all the times for the movie are sold out, so i suggest indiana jones, MMM SHIA LABOUEF. or however you spell that ridiculously sexy last name. she says no we came to see sex and the city, so we leave. and we drive back to some theater a lot closer to my house, that theater was sold out and only had tickets for the 11 o'clock showing, so we buy them and i go into borders and finish reading the TIME magazine about 1968, which every person should read just take an hour out of your day go sit in b&n or borders get a cup of coffee and dive into this magabook (magazine+book) filled with all of this coool and rich history. my mom says "hey k, lets get there an hour early just in case", OF COURSE i LAUGH AND SAY UH NO. so we leave at 10:30 to walk over. BIG mistake we were in this line that wrapped around the building like 40 times.

actually, no we were just outside, but still i felt very far away from the movie, like i would walk up hand my ticket to the nice ticket taker man and he would say UHM no, we are full. but i got good seats! so not to worry. I sat through that very delightful explicit decently humored film and left the theater but The difference between me and the hundreds of other people in attendance was the way i felt. I didn't come out all joyful, i wasn't still laughing, i certainly wasn't crying, I felt... lost. I still feel lost, lonely, sad, a very out of body feeling, because i am HAPPY KALYAH always smiling with a semi-positive attitude, except of course for my timely biting sarcasm (which has definitely gotten me in a lot of trouble in the past). THis movie touched on a lot of different things in my life that I am currently lacking. like friendship, and love, and shopping. i mean i have GREAT friends, but the ones i thought were like my own samantha jones and charlotte york are missing. with love, i still blame myself for my last breakup, and adding on to that I am still saddened by the break up itself. probably because i haven't found anybody to replace him, but some of it must be regret.. i just dont know im sad, and pitiful, talk about a screwdriver at 4 am?
well i still love life



Prentice Mulford.

"every thought of yours is a real thing-a force"

how to understand this quote...how to put this quote into more words... how to get the true meaning of this statement..
a force? like "may the force be with you"?? (i actually haven't seen star wars.)
force, like power?
or there is "i am not trying to force you to do this"
like make you, which is like power.. in a different sense.
force- (my definition, the twisted kalyah definition)
some sort of in-tangible thing that is significant.

so the quote is saying, every thought of mine is a real thing- it has some sort of intangible significance?
YES that kinda makes sense, well to me.

i just had this sort of epiphany..
because, you see, i was given the secret (a pretty cool looking book that i thought was gonna be like harry potter), and as i was breezing through the pages i stopped on this random one, actually it was only page 4, HAHhahaha, and i saw this quote, needless to say it stumped me. Usually i understand these things pretty quickly, but the more i casually thought about it no answer directly fell upon me. Naturally i had to extricate it, find an answer cause it would just bug me for centuries, and i would annoy everyperson who talked to me, asking what they thought till i came upon a suitable answer.

I think I have, and it is interesting.. simply, this mulford fellow figures every ridiculous thought i might have, like when i think about me falling over the banister on the catwalk in my house, a story up (out of absolute fear) is some sort of subconscious longing to be brought out. SOOO mully, i want to fall? or is my fear of fallling so profound that it is significant in my mind, and when i think about it, the "force" i recieve is one of dread and discomfort? my fear is being brought out, fear usually is intangible significance.. hmmmm, valid.


the end.
( i think)

No, not the end, cause as i was just writing out that i was listening to a mix of mozart and zepplin, i suddenly thought, then where do those statements like, "oh it's just a frivolous thought" or "oh it's not important" or "i dont really know what I am thinking" "or oh it was just a stupid thought", come from?

buttttt. then on the flip side, there is that saying "there is no such thing as a stupid thought" which kind of coincides with monsieur mulfords' statement.
every thought is valuble because, you are valuable. you have one life and every choice you make, or everything you do is valuable because you are the only one doing that thing, ever in the fashion that you are doing. say you jog around the park, and there are hundreds of other people jogging, i doubt any of them are thinking the same thing as you, or feeling the same way. everything you think or do is valuable, is unique.
omg, that is SOOOO arguable. the dreaded topic of conformity vs. non conformity.
can't go into that today.
time for some 1984



the start of something weird.

Well, hellooooooo there readers. 

most likely friends of moi.
i guess my first entry should be some sort of introduction, so.. 
i'm kalyah alaina ford.
a born canadian,  who moved to georgia (unfortunately).

i sing, a lot.

i am a 2nd year college student, i went to Michigan state, talk about a bitchin' time.
made irreplaceable friends there, protested, created, performed, slept, and MORE. 
man oh man, one of the first things i did upon my return to the rotten peach state was see radiohead. a truly life changing experience.. the singular smell in the air was that of cannabis and all around i saw people's mind's being blown, and their bodies being set free, bliss.. 
next big thing i did was plan one of my friends birthday parties, theme "whirled peace" that was a crazy hype time.

since then i have done... well, nothing.

except plan plan plan.   leave msu.. come to georgia, go to a mediocre school, transfer to a "good school", study business, then go to grad school to study more business, yea not my plan at ALL

i say fuck that. why should I do what my father says i should do, is he ME? no. I am ME. he is him, unimportant, and non influential in my life. uhmm, except he pays for everything, and is my popsicle... 

wellllll, my dream is.. i don't really know, i love archaeology and egypt, yet i love music and performing, i also love drawing and graphics, politics. advertising? fashion? archaeologist? broadcast journalist? how does one choose ONE thing to do with their life? i am finding it impossible. 

 i am listening to Beirut. and i realized my entire entry and life is a smorsgabord, which to me means it is nonsensical and random, like his songs usually are.
oh wells. oh yea
I LOVE OBAMA. and bobby kennedy,  i wish i could vote...
i use way toooooo many comma's.
i text more then i call.
i like clutter, and it is by no means organized.
i'm ridiculous, and loud.
elton john makes me smile.
i love the 1950's and 60's fashion and music.
Frank Sinatra is my ideal man.
oh, fyi.
i go to bed at like 4-5 everynight or rather morn, haaha, sooooo sick.