SEX (and the city)

SO, i had been waiting for this movie to shoot into theaters ever since my ex-roommate stuck a picture on her wall, mind you the only picture that ever graced that very bare and boring wall, You see because mine was all cluttered with pictures of JFK and random dinosaurs i colored in while drunk, my canadian flag, cutouts from magazines, my huge poster of john lennon, radiohead, and hers was just very BLEHHHHHH. anywho i had been waiting to see it, while in Michigan I pictured me and my best girlies from back home getting all dressed up heading to the theater at midnight on May 29th to revel in the amazingness that was expected with the release of this ridiculously hyped up movie. On may 30th around 7 pm I left the house with my mother to go see sex and the city. I thought why not reap the benefits lets go SHOPPING. i mean i am always up for shopping, new things to make me smile and forget about the fact that this summer of fun that i expected is turning out to be a summer of none (i just wanted it to rhyme), really a summer alone. without the people i regarded as my best friends, i mean people grow, right? change? i was on my own for a year, 800 miles away. ANYWAY, we get to atlantic station and after searching for a parking space for about 15 minutes we get in line, and find out all the times for the movie are sold out, so i suggest indiana jones, MMM SHIA LABOUEF. or however you spell that ridiculously sexy last name. she says no we came to see sex and the city, so we leave. and we drive back to some theater a lot closer to my house, that theater was sold out and only had tickets for the 11 o'clock showing, so we buy them and i go into borders and finish reading the TIME magazine about 1968, which every person should read just take an hour out of your day go sit in b&n or borders get a cup of coffee and dive into this magabook (magazine+book) filled with all of this coool and rich history. my mom says "hey k, lets get there an hour early just in case", OF COURSE i LAUGH AND SAY UH NO. so we leave at 10:30 to walk over. BIG mistake we were in this line that wrapped around the building like 40 times.

actually, no we were just outside, but still i felt very far away from the movie, like i would walk up hand my ticket to the nice ticket taker man and he would say UHM no, we are full. but i got good seats! so not to worry. I sat through that very delightful explicit decently humored film and left the theater but The difference between me and the hundreds of other people in attendance was the way i felt. I didn't come out all joyful, i wasn't still laughing, i certainly wasn't crying, I felt... lost. I still feel lost, lonely, sad, a very out of body feeling, because i am HAPPY KALYAH always smiling with a semi-positive attitude, except of course for my timely biting sarcasm (which has definitely gotten me in a lot of trouble in the past). THis movie touched on a lot of different things in my life that I am currently lacking. like friendship, and love, and shopping. i mean i have GREAT friends, but the ones i thought were like my own samantha jones and charlotte york are missing. with love, i still blame myself for my last breakup, and adding on to that I am still saddened by the break up itself. probably because i haven't found anybody to replace him, but some of it must be regret.. i just dont know im sad, and pitiful, talk about a screwdriver at 4 am?
well i still love life

peacelove