sailor's blue

You know when you're having one of those days?
one of those days where the music sounds different.
the flowers make you sneeze.
the clouds seem to jump out at you as though they are slowly trying to crush you.
where you go to bed at four am, only to wake up at 8 am with a headache the size of BEIRUT.
a morning without coffee cause you ran out of time as you tripped down the stairs because your coverses weren't tied.
when nothing looks just right on you.
a day where you HAVE to wear a hat.
and because you have no ID, you can't get into the library to study for 2 HUGE tests coming up in the next 10 hours of your life.
when you lose one of the earbud covers to your ridiculously expensive pair of bass headphones.
when you produce enough liquid on your face to fill an 8oz. glass.
when any jutting object ends up piercing your side.
and all you can say is, what next?!
yeah, i'm having one of those days.


who loves the sun?

Who loves the sun
Who cares that it makes plants grow
Who cares what it does
Since you broke my heart

Who loves the wind
Who cares that it makes breezes
Who cares what it does
Since you broke my heart

Who loves the rain
Who cares that it makes flowers
Who cares that it makes showers
Since you broke my heart

Who loves the sun
Who cares that it is shining
Who cares what it does
Since you broke my heart

The Velvet Underground
-who loves the sun?

i love the sun, rain and the wind, how could you not love such beautiful natural occurences.
now this is not necessarily relatable, but every snowflake that falls from the sky is different. not one snowflake, out of the millions and billions and trillions of snow that falls eachyear are identical.

Lou reed encompassed everything cool, everything he did was so effortless. and sexy.

I Am Always Tired.

not even coffee helps me anymore.


Narrow Stairway.

See, when i first heard about the release of a new deathcab album, MONTHS ago i was convinced that it would be called Narrow Stairway, so i went around, of course trying to seem extremely cool and knowledgeable, saying "i am SOO excited about the new deathcab, coming out in the summer, it has a weird title, Narrow Stairway, it must be filled with all sorts of symbolism" of course when the name leaked to the general public i looked like a complete fool. This story isn't really one of importance. it probably makes me seem even more stupid then that whole narrow stairway. incident.

wow, the next day and this story is even more pointless and absurd to me, i guess it is for my own enjoyment then.


I just wanted to say i love it. it took a couple listens for the whole thing not to sound as though it were one song, but as I got into it I realized what i had mistaken for un-innovative 'boring' production on the behalf of Ben Gibbard, was actually his pure GENIUS at work.
The entire album, to me, is a montage of sound all tied together under one emotion, longing. of course they dissect this singular emotion and break it up into different variations of the word.

NoW i am no music critic. (although my criticism of cat power DID win me free tickets to her concert). these are just my generalized thoughts on the album.

there is a now, FOUR way tie between Cath..., No Sunlight, You Can Do Better Than Me and Talking Bird, not one captures my heart more then the other.

Naturally, they are the "slower" songs, (which always tends to be the sort of songs i like), Yet they are not, at the same time all the songs sort of have this progression that leads to a faster tempo, and a more crashing exuberant sound. They each tell a story that Deathcab has told many-a-times, but this album definitely has my favorite versions.

still my favorite band. ofcourse.


mr. brightside is my jealous song.

Hahahaha this is actually a myspace bulletin, but i wanted to remember it. so i copied and pasted.

I have way too much on my mind, and yet at the same time WAY too much on my plate.

a math test tomorrow over 7 chapters i haven't begun to look at.

an econ and history test thursday, along with going on my stepper.

plus i got a horrible scare today. death is probably the one thing i dread most in the world, and is the one thing that makes me terribly and excessively sad, i once went to a funeral where i had to sing for a person i didn't even really know that well, and after the service, when i was supposed to sing, i couldn't . i was crying uncontrollably, i have never cried so much in my life. but anyways.

i was checking the house voicemail to see if msu got back to me about housing, uh that's a no, i'm still anticipating being the new bum of east lansing.

but my uncle is super sick, shit. i can't even concentrate. so i have decided to do this survey to keep my mind off of it, and help me procrastinate even more.

So, here's how it works:

Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

Put it on shuffle

Press play

For every question, type the song that's playing

When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits:
"Happiness is a Warm Gun" the Beatles.

omg really? talk about sad

Waking Up:
"Kiss the Girl" Alan Menken (disney little mermaid)
UHHH?! well i do love disney, a little too much.

First Day At School:
"I won't say I'm in Love" Alan Menken (hercules)
I mean really? my movie is turning from this super sad beginning to this very animated body.

"Post Modern Girls" The Strokes and Regina Spektor.


Falling In Love:
"Romance for Violin and Orchestra No.
2" Beethoven
now this i can deal with, it's beautiful, and gives the allusion of falling, in love that is.
you know the feeling?

Fight Song:
"Different Names For the Same Thing" Death Cab for Cutie
uhhh. i don't know what this is suggesting, this game of chance i am playing so willingly.

Breaking Up:
"Brainy" The National
i have no commentary for this one. if you know the song it's kinda obvious that it's perf. haha.

"Three Peaches" Neutral Milk Hotel.

lovely song, slowdance.

"Death and all his Friends" Coldplay
REALLLY?!?!? haha

Drinking Song:
"Head Honcho" Devotchka
WOOOoo love it.

High School:
"Swallowed in the Sea" Coldplay

"CHanges" David Bowie.

this is perfect, i totally see myself walking around campus and having this playing, me being like what the hell am i doing here? what am i doing with my life?

Mental Breakdown:
"Too busy Thinking about my Baby" Marvin Gaye.

WHOA, the only mental breakdown of my life and this seems to fit it exactly

"3rd Planet" Modest Mouse.

i'm lovin' it.

"Let It Be" The Beatles
That seems to fit my philosophy

Getting Back Together:
"Carousel" Iron & WIne.


"The Same Deep Water as you" the Cure

Birth of Child:
"Movie Theme" Beck.

why couldn't this have come up first?
probably one of his most slow depressing songs.. haha.

Final Battle:
"Fever" Azure Ray
omg yes, my final battle is like over a sickness trying to take my lover.
that's like the first line of the song "go away, go away"
oh shit. that's sad.

Death Scene:
"Above you, Below Me" Badly Drawn Boy.

i guess it's like in a nutshell, KALYAH.
the end?

Funeral Song:
"Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues again"
not what i would have requested, but K!

End Credits:
"love song" Sara bariabsdabjaless.
(i have NO idea how to spell her last name)

I have the oddest life movie. i go from being down, to being young, to being sad, to being in love to being sad.

oh. uh.

time to TRY and study.



apparently he won the us open, cool.
the reason it's my title actually is simply because i am ow in econ and my teacher is the indian tiger woods. distracting, right?
uhm lately i've been trying to broaden my horizons. listening to new music, reading more things, etc.
Antony and the Johnsons - Antony and the Johnsons
uhm yEA.


Rhineland (Heartland)

Let me just take a lesson from one of my many horrid summer classses, economics.
Opportunity cost.
in layman's terms, this is when someone needs to or want's to do something, but has the opportunity of doing another thing, as well. when this happens, it tends to cause uncertainty: which path do i choose, etc. when looking at this you need to look at all of the factors, time, money, BLAH.
what i am trying to say is, why do i forgo sleep every day for summer school?
looking at opportunity cost i TOTALLY made the wrong decision. shiiiit.
i went to bed at 4 woke up at 6
don't start class til fucking 5 pm.
like really? what will i do with my day. study some, but one can only study for so long before going to a 3 hour math class. watch some shows online, readdd, ugh.
what i need is a car. cause then, I could have woken up at 2
and STIL made it in time.
not to sound like a complete geek, but i have been trying to beat the game of chess on my computer and i FINALLY did.
on to my second cup of coffee, just so i don't fall asleep. actually i think i'm gonna go to the library.
i'll finish this post later.


bob bob bob the history man.

Signed up for a history class at the very last minute.
and it was the BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE.
my teacher BOB (as he told us to call him) is one of the best teachers I have ever had. and it was only the introduction to his class.
he is OLD, and when i say old i mean like arthritis old. haha he told us "I am reminded of my age every morning when i look in the mirror to shave"
first of all he is a gay man from pennsylvania, and the first thing he told us was that he was an egalitarian, and was one of the fighters for equality back during the civil rights age! oh my, i am pumped to hear stories.
he pushed back the 8:00 class to 8:30.
doesn't give a damn if you sleep in the class or come to class, it is your decision whether or not you want to learn, "i don't care, after all it is you all paying for me to fly to bangkok to see my boyfriend in december". hahaha oh lawd.
i think he also loves sex. alot. because everything is about, spending time with your significant other, or i won't mind if you come to class and fall asleep cause you worked a night shift or you were up all night with your significant other, and he smiled huge and winked.

HE LOVES HISTORY (psssst so do i)

wellll we got out 2 hours early. i would leave, BUT i have another classs in 2 hours haha BAH.

made eggs this morning like a chef, probs better then that rachael ray chick i keep hearing about. i flipped them, peppered them. OOOOEE.

it's hot as shit, like really? why.

i know its summer but over 100 degrees. that's just redonk. i can straighten my hair with that much heat.

i have started to read 1984, by george orwell. REALLY goood, ironically there is an extra credit paper in bob's class on animal farm.
I am looking into a study abroad, in france actually. international development sort of abroad study where i would get to live in an apartment right on the northern tip of france between london and paris, for the entire semester
or there is this one in belize where i actually do development work, i get hands on experience and get to help out there, plus get 12 credits.

this is before i go to school in canada that is. YEP that's right, you all are the first to hear I am transferring to a school in canada in fall 2009.
i mean all the really good schools here are so damn expensive and don't give scholarships. and as a canadian its like $$170 per credit hour for me. and this is like at Mcgill (where my popsicle went, and whenever i say i want to go there he busts out laughing, like obnoxious brash laughter) and it is like 1 of the top schools in the world. yuh yeah. like 12 i think? and its in montreal, which is sooo beautiful, but i am also looking at university of british columbia vancouver which has the best international relations program in canada. and is in vancouver which is the most beautiful city like ever. there is the city skyline in between the ocean and the mountains. yea. that beautiful. and university of toronto of course, (new york run by the swiss).
ahhhh sUH-weeet bliss
i'm totally about to watch the office while i am sitting in the library, right now.
oh god i just turned around and this man with a baby was staring and smiling reallly creepy.
he's soooo not from here.
oh gah i love the city.



hello, i love you.

totally an unnecessary evil that is now taking over every spare minute of my "summer".

The night before any sort of big event, whether i am starting a new semester of school, a big date (oooo lala), a trip. i find it IMPOSSIBLE TO SLEEP.
oh yea, i came to this conclusion that sleep is my foe.
so i went to bed around 1 and woke up around 2:30. SHIT i was wideeee awake.
so me, obviously getting tired of tossing and turning, decides to get up. i read a little, watched a couple of video's reformatted the coding on my myspace, listened to some, DevotchKa. then got up around 6 to start getting ready for my first class.
at bloody 8! in the morning.
i go to this class and my professor is giving me 30 billion reasons to drop it.
LITERALly, he talks about how since it is half the time you must devote 24 hours a week instead of 12 hours to work. and how if you plan on missing more then 3 days, you will fail. stuff like that.
this was only my first class, i have 3 more.
i fear for my health and sanity.
i think i might be dropping a couple classes.
i have french in about half-an-hour. which i am SOOO extremely excited about. francais, the language of my home land.
sitting in a saxby's coffee while this couple make love to eachother through their eyes. BLEHHHH
i guess this is a bad time to write in here, because not much has happened to me at all. got a REALLY gross yogurt parfait.
BLUEBERRies. that is all.

peacelove, for now.



omg, talk about excitinggg!

I am lying on a mint green comforter, in a green zipup. in a beige room
I am also currently listening to ELTON JOHN.
yea, it's that good of a day.
obnoxiously woke up at 3:30, yea i need to stop staying up ridiculously late... watching the Office, i mean. WHO DOES THAT?
6 a.m. the suns coming out and i am just laying my head down to rest. hahaa.
so i am finally venturing out of my little quaint town and going to trivia at some seafaring sports bar, barnacles?
where i will put to use my knowledge of the most random unimportant shit imaginable.
of course they never ask questions to where my knowledge could be applicable but it's still fun.
UHHHHH new band alert new band alert, i am totally digging the black keys. anybody? anybody?
and i have been listening to a lot of jazz and soul lately, i mean check out my last fm.
ALSO CAR HUNTING, since i am moving back home, unfortunately of course, i need some sort of vehicle to transport me. especially since i live in the middle of nowhere and gas prices are like $30,000 a gallon, practically. and thats relevant because i have no friends that actually want to drive me places. or pick me up.
BUT I WON TICKETS TO CAT POWER FOR WRITING A PARAGRAPH SAYING WHY I LOVE HER. now every single one of my friends want to come pick me up to hang. iI'll post what i wrote, EEEE!!!

As I am listening to Cat Power I am delving into the genius of her sound. The way she takes previously sung songs, and make's it a new song entirely is mesmerizing. She deftly weaves through her notes with such emotion and power, yet with a sense of vulnerability. Which really translates to me, the listener, who feels connected to her sound.

naturally slightly bullshitted, but i think my history of music helped me write that. anywho i think i will wear my fedora.
mmmhm, that will be perf.

oh yea, THE CAR, it is a car from the future
like when i am in it i feel like i can only play techno and when i look out the window everything will be blurred because i will be speeding. i imagine it being like speed racer, which i will never see and never have wanted to see. but still goood comparison.



BACK. it's now around 10:25, and someone ACTUALLY WANTED TO DRIVE ME HOME. this boy is so nice, and likes pink lemonade too! he actually picked a song that is supposed to be like "our song", Tom Petty free fallin', yup.

i also saw that i got comments on my first entry that made me SOOO happy. and they were from people in australia, talk about neato. i love that when i am writing in here about my boring american adventures (from a canadian perspective), there are peopple in the other side of the world reading about it, wellllll how bout' that.

i am now listening to neutral milk hotel, jeff magnum (the singer and all around waif-ish genius) apparently lives in Athens, which is where university of georgia is, which is the only sort of incentive i have to going to UGA.
oh wells. nothing really exciting in my life. dinner sucked i got calamari, it looked like actual squids and i totes couldn't eat any of it. but the nice waitress lady didn't charge me for it, nor did she charge me for my drink... hahaha.

"still the same, just like a cancer and you won't give me a straight answer. if you still want me please forgive me, the crown of love has fallen from me.."